


Solace for the Isolated

by xPhoenixFlamex



Series: Dotted Soulmates [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, I wrote this instead of studying, Internal Conflict, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Kageyama is lonely but that's okay because Hinata will help him, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, anger issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 22:36:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11171505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xPhoenixFlamex/pseuds/xPhoenixFlamex
Summary: Kageyama Tobio was drowning in isolation.His only solace was the red dot on his wrist, promising him that there was someone out there who could fit with him."Where are you, Sho?"





	Solace for the Isolated

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own soulmate AU, and it is a part of a series of stories based on this AU. If you are confused or unclear about it, first visit the page for this series before reading this.

Kageyama Tobio was drowning, clinging to the promised solace the lone dot on his wrist offered.

He wasn’t exactly sure when it started. 

He wasn’t exactly sure  _ why  _ it started. 

But he did have a pretty good idea.

He had always been a bit of a loner. He was extremely prideful, not to mention very easily angered. And when he was mad, he would snap and yell at those around him indiscriminately. He didn’t care if they were the one who made him angry or not, he just  _ had  _ to get it out of his system, and yelling was the most natural way.

It didn’t help that on top of everything, he naturally _ looked  _ scary. His black hair covered his eyes in a way that added to his natural expression of annoyance and anger. He was taller than average, and extremely socially awkward.

He never quite  _ fit  _ anywhere, and nothing ever fit with him. He struggled making friends, and if he ever did, he was absolutely horrible with maintaining his friendship. It was atypical that he sat with anyone, as even the more friendly and talkative people in his classes soon realized he wasn’t worth it.

At first, he was fine with it, but that was more because he saw it as a temporary thing. He  _ was  _ a bit lonely, but he was mostly content. Other people had a tendency to be annoying and make him feel bad about himself, a young Tobio knew. He could be a bit lonely until he made some friends.

He could remember when he first heard the whispers.

_ “He’s so scary! I bet he doesn’t have a single soulmate. Who could fit with him?” _

He could remember how he clenched his fists, trying to follow his mother’s instructions for when he got mad.  _ Just clench your fists, take deep breaths, and try to block out what makes you so mad. It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to take your anger out on other people. It’ll just make their negative beliefs of you true. _

He loved his mothers. They were soulmates, and had been fortunate enough to have grown up next to each other. They had originally been platonic soulmates, Tobio knew, but they were part of the extremely rare few that had been able to override the platonic destiny they had held and turn it into a romantic one. Their yellow dots turned to red, and they would remain that way forever.

He loved the story of how they met, how they fell in love. It was very sappy and emotional, but to a lonely and impressionable Tobio, it gave him a promise of hope.

A promise that the soulmate bond  _ was  _ powerful enough to help him. That he would find his soulmate, and they would be good together. They’d work together. They’d  _ fit.  _

That even if things didn’t go as planned, that didn’t mean it would turn out bad. It meant things now had the potential to work out better than either of them had ever dreamed.

Despite him following his mother’s advice, the whispers only grew. They were the first few droplets of the storm that was brewing. A warning.

_ “I saw his wrist yesterday - he only has one soulmate. A romantic one.” _

_ “Wow, there’s someone out there that’s for him?” _

_ “Don’t sound too surprised. They’re probably a freak like him.” _

He could feel the rage building in his stomach, like a caged animal that was desperate to escape. To be free.  
  
To wreak havoc on those who wronged it.

_ My soulmate is out there!  _ He wanted to scream at the world.  _ And they’ll understand me better than you ever could. They’ll help me! Don’t you dare insult them! _

That was when the storm came. When he truly began to fall apart. When he began to succumb to the anger and the rage and all of the negative emotions inside of him.

_ “I bet his own soulmate leaves him. Not that I’d blame them - they’re unlucky enough to be stuck with someone like him.” _

That was when Kageyama Tobio started drowning.

* * *

Volleyball was his escape. His way of avoiding the dark sea of loneliness and resentment that haunted him constantly.  
  
He had been exposed to it from a young age, starting from when he went to visit his grandparents in the Shiga Prefecture. They had an old volleyball in their garage that he had found, and in his curiosity he had asked his grandfather what it was for. His grandfather had explained volleyball to him, and shown him the proper way to receive a toss. He could remember the satisfaction of when he finally hit the ball and it went where he wanted it to go - right back to his grandfather, who caught it with a kind smile. His grandmother and mothers congratulated him, and something inside of him clicked.

Two hours later, his mothers would find him throwing it up and receiving it as it bounced against the house. He had been doing that consistently, loving and revelling in the satisfaction a clean receive brought him. They both were surprised, but encouraged his newfound passion. 

He joined his school’s volleyball team - Akiyama Elementary School’s Volleyball Club - the next year, and quickly realized his own talents as a setter. A part of him thought that this sport - this  _ feeling  _ of happiness and contentment - would bring him closer to his peers. Show them that he  _ was  _ good, it was just harder for him to control his anger than others.

He then discovered that his talent would merely alienate him further from his classmates.

_ “I bet he's own soulmate leaves him.”  _ Echoed in his mind, tormenting him constantly.

They wouldn't. They were his  _ soulmate.  _ The one person that was destined to fit with him and understand him and  _ love him _ . It didn't matter that he didn't have any friends, because he’d have them, right?

_ …right? _

His love for the sport fought with the icy waters inside him. Now, when he played volleyball was the only time when he felt truly at peace. Even though it made him feel no better later, he craved that escape, no matter how brief. Playing volleyball,  _ winning  _ volleyball games, brought that escape.

His real solace, however, was and would forever be the red dot on his wrist.

_ Sho. _

If he was drowning, then the neatly written katakana was his breath. When he finally caught it, he'd be saved for good. He believed that - he had been forced to. If he didn’t, he would shatter.

As a result of his isolation and disposition, he was unable to connect a bond with his teammates. It hadn’t been particularly surprising to anyone, but it still annoyed him. His own anger at his inability to properly talk and interact with other kids his age simply made him worse at communicating with them.

He didn't discover his nickname, the King of the Court, until it had already spread outside of the volleyball club. He had had little hope that things would be better at Kitagawa Daiichi, but he hadn't known it would get  _ worse _ . He didn’t think it was possible.

But now that nickname haunted him.

His desire to win grew fiercer and fiercer, which ended up hurting him more and more. He began to snap and yell at his teammates, because that was what was essential to winning and  _ I need to win I need to escape I need to keep running from this feeling of drowning. _

With each shout of frustration he heard them whisper, heard them say,  _ “There he is: the King of the Court. With his King toss that leaves the blocker - and the spiker - in the dust.”  _ The comments only fueled his rage, continuing the vicious cycle that Kageyama had been trapped in for far to long.

He was no more than a drowning, dictator king, clinging to the hope, the promise, that there was at least  _ one person  _ out there for him. That would understand him. That would help him.

That would  _ save him. _

_ Where are you, Sho? _

* * *

 

He didn't know what to think about the orange haired boy from Yukigaoka who wore the captain’s mark.

He was short, around 162 centimeters tall. He looked younger than a middle school third year, but perhaps that could be due to his height and the childlike simplicity of his emotions.

He was obviously completely serious about winning, despite being from a ragtag group of people who looked like they had never played volleyball before. He wasn’t even fazed that was up against the middle school version of a powerhouse school. No, he wouldn’t let the hopelessness bother him. It was as if he didn’t even see it.

And he was  _ quick.  _ When he moved he was nothing more than a blur of the orange that betrayed his hair and the green of his uniform. Kageyama couldn’t help but stare at him when he moved like that. When he ran and jump it was if he was flying.

“Where have you been for the past three years?” He barked the question angrily. He didn't mean to say it so harshly, but that was how everything came out now. His yells were the dark and crashing waves that drowned his own cries for help, along with himself.

The boy didn't answer him, and when later he confronted Kageyama, the setter felt something twitch inside him. There was something about the boy’s passion that stayed with him, as did his tears.

He didn't want the boy to cry, but why did he care? 

Why did it matter to him if this random person - someone he didn't even know the name of - was crying?

But he couldn't shake the feeling - was that guilt? - all day, and that night he stared up at ceiling, wondering what was wrong with him.

* * *

 

The first time he touched Hinata Shōyō was after they were kicked out of the gym at Karasuno for their conduct, under the notion that they needed to work better together.

In actuality, they had touched before that. But it had never been skin-to-skin contact, which was what was necessary for one’s soulmark to be activated.

From the moment the boy entered the Karasuno gym, he grew frustrated. Even more than what was typical for him. Part of it was due to the feelings that Hinata had left him with. The concern. The guilt.

The feelings were confusing to Kageyama, who had been so buried in volleyball the first time he met the spiker that he hadn’t cared much for others. It had been bad, he knew detachedly, how easily he had been able to separate himself from the emotions of others. 

It  _ is  _ bad, he mentally amended.

He was annoyed at Hinata, because somehow the boy had been able to pierce past his walls. He had completely ignored the fact that Kageyama had been drowning in isolation, clinging desperately to the red soulmark and the escape winning brought him.

He had pushed the boy away, anxious to be let back in the gym. His hand brushed against the boy’s failing arm, and that was when the burning sensation started.

They both froze, Kageyama’s hand unconsciously grabbing Hinata’s arm.

_ Sho.  _ A small part of him whispered.

This was  _ Sho.  _ This was his supposed solace. His promised paradise.

His hand tightened.

_ [If he was drowning, then the neatly written katakana was his breath. When he finally caught it, he'd be saved for good.] _

The boy didn’t look disgusted at him. He didn’t look at him with the fear or hatred he had been used to others looking at him with. His warm eyes didn’t scream at him that he was a freak.

They were gentle, full of brightness and innocence. His wild orange hair was sticking up in every direction.

He reminded Kageyama of the sun.

* * *

 

Kageyama and Hinata didn’t fall in love with each other instantly, because this was real life. This was no fairy tale.

But still, every moment by him Kageyama felt an ache in his chest  that he hadn’t even been aware of ease up. They fought constantly, but it was different from all the times Kageyama had fought with his peers in the past. This was full of annoyance and frustration, but also caring and concern.

Yelling had been the only way Kageyama had known to express his feelings for a long time, and it was foolish to believe he’d lose that when he met his soulmate. No, soulmates don’t fix each other. They don’t change each other. 

They  _ fit  _ with each other. They accept each other.

When Kageyama yelled, it was if Hinata could read past that. As if the tone of his words didn’t mean anything. He could see through Kageyama and find the part of him that didn’t  _ mean  _ to yell, to be angry, but knew of no other way. 

The part of him that thought that he had to do all the work himself. The part of him that wasn’t used to being able to rely on a team. The part of him that didn’t know what a  _ team  _ really was, because every team he had been on in the past rejected him socially.

Hinata Shōyō was truly his breath, and now that Kageyama caught it, he could find a way to safely swim to shore.

Because his teammates were waiting for him there.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is xphoenixwritingx.tumblr.com scream at me there please


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